Super Bowl Shuffled

The recent announcement of the 2009 NFL schedule took our minds off baseball long enough to dig up these gems.  You are, of course, familiar with The Super Bowl Shuffle.  Well, what you may not know is that the original 1985 release also included two remixed versions of the famous track:  the Extended Vocal Mix and the Instrumental Mix (for all you karaoke rockstars out there).  And because these masterpieces have been collecting dust for far too long, Chiblogo felt like sharing.  Ladies and gents, The Chicago Bears Shufflin’ Crew!

 

Extended Vocal Mix

Instrumental Mix

Your 2009 Chicago Cubs!

Like Billy Joel and the Chicago Cubs?  Well, then, you’re in luck!

http://chicagoist.com/2009/04/02/chicago_cubs_2009_season_preview.php

CTA Entertainment Dept.

With the CTA’s funding in perpetual jeopardy, it’s nice to see that they are trying some innovative solutions.

“I work for the CTA Entertainment Department,” the wiry old man announced on a northbound Brown line train. “They pay me $500 a day to entertain you, the customer.”  With a flourish he produced a small shelf of black felt, upon which rested three yellow soda bottle caps and a pea-sized, red ball.  He went on to explain in lyrical form (they are paying him $500 a day, mind you), how in his youth his pal Jughead would take all his bread by always knowing the location of the ball that was red.  So he practiced every day and eventually won his money back.  Now he’s giving us the chance to win.  Lucky us!

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a bit gullible. But no one could fall for this swindle, right? Let’s start with the obvious. There is no CTA Entertainment Department. Furthermore, these shell games are always a scam. The operator uses sleight of hand to manipulate the location of the ball, so it will never be under the cap you think. What about that guy who just won 20 bucks? He’s in on it. The three others that lost over $150 between Sedgewick and Southport… they’re not. Sheesh.

If you see a shell game on the el, please do your best to ignore it and notify CTA personnel after exiting the train. While the action may liven up your commute, gambling on the CTA is illegal for a reason. When people are cheated out of large sums of money in a short amount of time, they tend to get pretty angry. Best not to have a bunch of angry people in a crowded, enclosed space.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find some black felt. $150 in 20 minutes is nothing to sneeze at!

Exclusive – New Cubs Owner Leaked!

BREAKING NEWS – A Chiblogo Exclusive

As the December 1 deadline for the sale of the Chicago Cubs rapidly approaches, the identity of the new owner may have accidentally been leaked.

Evidence suggests that the Northside team has been purchased by the recently formed ChicagCo Foundation LLC.  A visit to the foundation’s website reveals that the company is a partnership between influential Chicagoans, formed with the specific intent of owning the Cubs franchise.  The site’s tagline reads, “Different backgrounds?  Perhaps.  One love?  Absolutely.  ChicagCo Cubs ’09.” Among the notable ChicagCo members are:
 

 

 

 

 

 – Stan Mikita, retired Chicago Blackhawk

 

 

 

 

 – Rick Bayless, celebrity chef

 

 

 

 

 

 – Louis Farrakhan, Nation of Islam leader

 

 

 

 

 

 

 – Pete Wentz, Fallout Boy frontman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 – Gary Becker, Nobel Prize-winning economist

 

 

 

 

 

 – Bonnie Hunt, film and television actress

 

 

 

 

 
 – D’ Lo Brown, professional wrestler

 

 

 

 

 – Claude Boris Castille, historical reenactor

 

The evidence fueling the rumors is a photograph of the Wrigley Field marquee, taken by a Japanese tourist in early November.  The photo has surfaced on a number of Cubs fansites around the web, leading to rampant speculation.

 

When reached for comment, the Cubs front office vehemently denied the allegation, blaming the confusion on a “simple typographical error.”

A Wrigley Field Beer Run

“OK, I think I’ve got this,” I reassure myself. Two beers, two hot dogs, one soda, one bottled water, an order of nachos and a burger. The cups of beer and soda are loaded into one of those pop-up cardboard trays, with the dogs crammed in there as well. The bottle of water is tucked securely under my left arm. As for the nachos and the burger, I’m hoping to snag those with a spare finger or two after picking up the tray. Here goes nothing.

Oh dear. As I lift up the tray, the flimsy cardboard buckles under the uneven weight of the beverages. I adjust, momentarily stabilizing the load, and decide this is my chance to reach for the nachos and the burger. Pinching the lip of the plastic nacho plate, I realize that, like the tray, the plate can’t handle its business either. At this point I am one strike away from dumping 48oz of liquid, meat, tortilla chips and magma cheese all over the counter. I set everything back down. I need help.

I catch the gaze of the guy behind the counter, and I immediately recognize that this is no average concessions worker. His sizable girth, dust-broom mustache and almost comical accent indicate that this man has achieved-yes-Bill Swerski’s Superfan status. As he glares at me, I can see the disdain in his food-loving eyes. But it’s disdain lightly salted with sympathy. This is the man that can save me.

“Any advice?” I stammer.

“First thing, go over der and grab yer condiments,” he coaches. Right… how would I get the condiments after I picked up all that stuff? As I hustle to the condiment stand, I’m now sure that I’m dealing with the Mike Ditka of ballpark concessions. He continues, all in one breath, “Now put yer nachos in da tray. Lay down yer bottle a water in da tray next ta yer nachos. Stack yer burger on da nachos and put da hot dogs in der, too.”

“Now, can ya hold t’ree cups?” he asks, as if a wrong answer would get me cut from Team Manhood.

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Put yer cups in da shape of a triangle. Take yer tray a food an’ put it on top a da cups. Now pick up yer cups… and yer good ta go.” With the slight nod of his large, round head I am dismissed. Tragedy averted and a beer run saved.

Only in Chicago-where encased pork links are deified-will you find this level of food handling expertise. And if you can break a few of her broad-shouldered tackles, you’ll be rewarded with a city full of friendly, no-nonsense folks ready to help. Thank you, concessions guy. You truly are Chicago.

Keep On Truckin’

Q:  Do I risk getting a ticket if I drive my pickup truck on Lake Shore Drive?

A:

Most Chicago residents have heard the anecdotal horror stories of the friend-of-a-friend who got a $#00 traffic ticket for driving his pickup on Lake Shore.  But that can’t be true, right?  Pickup trucks are no larger or heavier than their legal SUV counterparts.  And even with fuel prices climbing, many still use a pickup as their daily driver.  This all seems a little nonsensical.  So what’s the real story?  Chiblogo investigates.

Often referenced in this debate is the Municipal Code of Chicago, section 9-72-020, which states:

“It shall be unlawful to operate any vehicle upon any boulevard (a) when such vehicle is used for carrying freight or other goods and merchandise for commercial purposes, (b) when such vehicle is designed primarily for carrying freight or other goods and merchandise, and (c) when such vehicle is used for carrying freight or other goods and merchandise on the outside of the vehicle….”

So no pickup trucks allowed on boulevards, as pickups are clearly designed for carrying freight, goods and merchandise.  But is Lake Shore Drive considered a “boulevard”?

Well, it is called Lake Shore Drive, not Lake Shore Boulevard… but perhaps that argument is a little shaky.  Thankfully, the Municipal Code specifically lists Chicago’s Primary Boulevards in section 17-17-02124.  Lake Shore Drive does not appear on that list.

So assuming Lake Shore Drive is not considered a boulevard, your pickup truck looks to be in good shape.  Perhaps, however, there is another ordinance that applies.

In fact, the very next section of the Municipal Code, 9-72-030 (b), states:

“Whenever official signs are erected prohibiting the use of any street or part of a street by trucks or other commercial vehicles or imposing weight and size limitations upon such vehicles using the street, no person shall drive a truck or other commercial vehicle in violation of any such signs….”

Lake Shore Drive does indeed display signs that state, “No Trucks.”   The Illinois Vehicle Code (625 ILCS 5/1‑211) (from Ch. 95 1/2, par. 1‑211) defines “truck” as, “Every motor vehicle designed, used, or maintained primarily for the transportation of property.”  By this definition, a pickup truck is included.   However, the ordinance specifically states, “truck or other commercial vehicle” [emphasis added].

Semantically speaking, the use of the word “other” implies that the truck must be considered a commercial vehicle if this prohibition is to apply.  Otherwise, it would simply read, “truck or commercial vehicle.”  The question then becomes:  Is your pickup truck considered a commercial vehicle?

Back to the Illinois Vehicle Code (625 ILCS 5/1‑111.8 ) (from Ch. 95 1/2, par. 1‑114), which defines “commercial vehicle” as, “Any vehicle operated for the transportation of persons or property in the furtherance of any commercial or industrial enterprise….”  So by definition, your average, commuter pickup truck is not considered a commercial vehicle.

Therefore, it appears that the person who drives his pickup for personal use has the legal right to operate on Lake Shore Drive.

But more importantly, will you get a ticket?  Ummm, that’s another story.

Disclaimer:  The opinions expressed herein are solely the views of the author, and are not intended as legal advice or counsel.

Cell Block

What’s that, White Sox fan?  No bad seats on the South Side, you say?  Try telling that to the sucker who paid $47 for this gem (yes, me).

While it is official Box Office policy to inform fans that they are purchasing limited view seats, apparently the world is not a perfect place.  Be sure check the official U.S. Cellular Field seating chart to distance yourself from those damn, dirty foul poles.

http://chicago.whitesox.mlb.com/cws/ballpark/cws_ballpark_seating.jsp

NOTE:  Upon complaint, the White Sox Box Office did offer a ticket voucher for each limited view seat purchased.

Where The Streets Have Silly Names*

Finally, after months of searching, you’ve just found the perfect new home… wait, what?  It’s on Hooker?!

Unfortunately not all Chicago streets have charming names like Sunnyside or Lake Shore.  Here are a few that have been known to draw a smirk.  Or wince.

– Hoyne              You can actually say this without opening your mouth.  Try it.

– Agatite             Shhh, my wife thinks it’s a real diamond.

– Hermitage       A block west of Reclusage.

– Lunt                  No comment.

– Melvina            The only name Jerry didn’t guess in The Junior Mint episode.

– Menomonee    Doo doo, d’ do doo  http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6300321513434302988

– Kerfoot            Hence the limp.

– Balmoral         Have fun telling this to the cabbie after a couple Jagerbombs.

– Neenah           Aww, baby’s first word.

– Moffat             I diet and exercise, but….

– Eggleston       Professor of Chicken Husbandry at U of I.

– Jarlath            The Magnificent?

– Balbo              If Rocky and the Hobbit had a child.

*Apologies to Bono

Bad Seats in the House

 

 

This article has been revised and republished at:

A completely searchable seat map of Wrigley Field!

WrigleyGuide.com –> About –> Wrigley

For over 93 seasons the Chicago Cubs have been playing baseball at Wrigley Field.  And for over 93 seasons the Cubbie faithful have been filling the seats.  That’s 41,118 seats to be exact.  Now the diehard fan might tell you that there’s not a bad one in the house.  Certainly, his sentiment stems from fond thoughts of ivy-covered walls, manual scoreboards, white flags with blue W’s and day games in July.  Wrigley Field is undoubtly a great place to catch a ballgame.  But realistically, Wrigley’s old-timey charm brings with it some old-timey inconveniences; namely, columns and overhangs.

Before the the advent of cantilevered decks, the upper levels of stadiums had to be reinforced by large, vertical support columns.  Unfortunately, these columns can obstruct the views of those seated in the deck below.  This is the case with Wrigley Field.  Another key architectural aspect of Wrigley is that the upper deck significantly overhangs the lower deck.  While this feature can benefit patrons by sheltering them from the rain and summer sun, it also blocks sightlines of the sky, scoreboard and fly balls for those in the back rows of the lower deck.

When buying tickets, Wrigley can be a tricky ballpark to figure out.  Even official seating charts (http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/chc/ballpark/seating.jsp) fail to convey the vertical elements of the stadium.  And if you noticed the ticket prices on the link above, it sure is nice to buy with confidence.

So, without further ado, a section-by-section guide to the seats of Wrigley Field.*

The Basics:
– Within each level, section numbering begins with the section furthest from home plate down the third base line and counts upward.  For example, section 101 is at the left field foul pole, 121 is behind home plate and 142 is at the right field foul pole.
– An aisle generally splits a section into two parts.  Seats on the right** side of the aisle begin with the number 1, while seats on the left side of the aisle begin with the number 101.  Thus, seats with higher numbers, such as 15 and 115, are toward the middle of the row.
– The first row in each level is labeled row 1 (except for Dugout and BullPen Box, which start with row A).
– Bleacher seats are accessed through a separate entrance, and do not connect to the main concourses of the stadium.

Dugout & Bullpen Box:  This level is comprised of the three rows nearest the infield, labeled A, B and C.  It is not covered by the upper deck.  As Mr. Bueller would say, “It is so choice.  If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.”

Club Box (Sect. 4-38 ):  On the infield, this level is directly behind the Dugout and Bullpen Box level.  On the outfield, this level provides the closest seats down the first and third base lines.  It is not covered by the upper deck.  These too are excellent seats.

Field Box (Sect. 101-142):  This level is separated from the Club Box level by a pedestrian walkway.  This walkway leads to the concourses, which host the concession stands and bathrooms.  If you are in the lower rows (roughly 1-5) of these sections, you may have to contend with frequent foot traffic crossing in front of you.  A minor qualm, for sure, but perhaps annoying for the more particular baseball fan.  Also be aware that a portion of section 101 is designated as a “no alcohol” zone.  The Field Box level is not covered by the upper deck.  On the whole, great seats.

Terrace Box & Reserved (Sect. 201-242): This level is separated from the Field Box level by a second pedestrian walkway.  The first row is slightly elevated, however, so foot traffic is not an issue.  This level is covered by the awning of the upper deck (except portions of 202-204, 237-240, and all of sections 201 and 242).
Rows 1-7 are considered Box, and rows 8+ are considered Reserved (all rows are considered Reserved in 201-204 and 237-242).  The columns supporting the upper deck are usually found in row 6, and are often located on the aisles.  Thus, purchasing seats in row 7 or higher can be a gamble.  To better your odds, look for seats toward the middle of the row (high seat numbers like 15 or 115) in sections 219-231.  Avoid aisle seats (like 1, 2, 101 and 102) in these sections.  Nice views from the outfield can be found in sections 201 and 242.  Notice of obstructed views will be printed on the tickets for some of the worst seats.

A complete list of column locations can be found at the end of this article.

Additionally, sightlines from rows 16 and higher (19 and higher in the sections behind home plate) will suffer from the upper deck overhang.  Views of the sky, scoreboard and fly balls will likely be obstructed.  Small TV monitors and digital scoreboards are hung in the rafters above in an attempt to compensate.

In summary, the Terrace level offers many great bang-for-your-buck seats, but you have to work a little to find them.

Bleachers & Bleacher Box (Sect. 301-342):  The Bleachers offer general admission seating on a first come, first serve basis.  The section number on your ticket is irrelevant.  [editor’s note:  The general admission policy does not apply to postseason tickets.  Seating assignments are enforced in the Bleachers during the playoffs.]  The Bleacher Box sections (316-318 ) offer assigned seating, as is found in the rest of the stadium.  The Bleacher level is located behind the outfield wall, offers good views and has a rowdier atmosphere than the rest of the stadium.

Upper Deck Box (Sect. 403-438 ):  This is the first level of the upper deck.  Due to the overhanging design, the first row of this level is directly above the first row of the Terrace level.  Sections 419-422 are directly below the Press Box.  Seats in this level are covered by an awning, but views are not obstructed.  The Upper Deck Box level offers very good to fair seats, the best being the first few rows along the infield.

Upper Deck Reserved (Sect. 503-538 ):  This level is separated from the Upper Deck Box level by a pedestrian walkway.  Foot traffic shouldn’t be an issue, however a second set of columns does appear along the walkway.  These columns are actually a continuation of those on the lower deck.  They are aligned with the aisles (except one column in sections 527 and 528 ) and are just in front of the first row.  If you choose to sit in this level,  look for seats in the lower rows, toward the middle of the row (high seat numbers like 15 and 115) in sections 509-525 and 529-532.  Note that the area directly behind home plate is taken up by the Press Box, so there are no Upper Deck Reserved seats behind the plate.  This level is covered by an awning as well, but because of the elevation it does not obstruct sightlines.  The Upper Deck Reserved level offers many good seats at low prices, but because of the distance from the field and the chance of column encounters, might be best suited for those feeling a little lucky.

Hopefully this article will help make your next visit to Wrigley Field a great one!

200 Level Column Locations (some may be approx.):
– Sect 202, Row 22, Seat 1
– Sect 204, Row 15, Seat 104
– Sect 205, Row 08, Seat 106
– Sect 206, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 208, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 209, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 211, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 213, Row 06, Seat 107
– Sect 215, Row 06, Seat 114
– Sect 215, Row 06, Seat 009
– Sect 216, Row 06, Seat 005
– Sect 218, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 219, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 220, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 222, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 223, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 224, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 226, Row 06, Seat 101
– Sect 228, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 229, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 231, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 233, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 235, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 236, Row 06, Seat 001
– Sect 237, Row 10, Seat 006
– Sect 239, Row 16, Seat 004
– Sect 240, Row 20, Seat 107/108

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Comments, corrections and suggestions are always welcome.

——————–

*The Mezzanine Suites and Batter’s Eye will not be discussed here.  Chiblogo has made every effort to ensure information in this article is correct at the time of posting and is not liable for any factual errors.
**All directions are from the perspective of someone seated in the stands.

An Ode to CTA Construction

Red line runs
In purple shoes
On elevated track.

Orange trains
Sure do look blue
Bound for O’Hare and back.

Brown has caught
Diversey stop
And Red fooling around.

One thing that
I’m thankful for:
I’m not from out of town!